New, scary things and the old self doubt

Two weeks ago I stepped into a crossfit gym. It was a 6am class. 

Do you have any idea how freaking early that is?!? Especially considering I often work til midnight or later. 

I got up be before my alarm after waking up almost every hour thinking I’d miss my alarm. Am I the only one who does this?

I think I lucked out.  I haven’t worked out in forever and I haven’t worked out with any regularity in at least a year. This was a hard workout for sure, but not too scary. 

I think I built crossfit up so much in my head that I expected it to be the hardest workout and that I’d be puking before I went home.

But this workout was ok..I also took it slow and did what I could without pushing myself too hard or fast. The trainer watched everything I did, ame sure I was using correct form and made sure I didn’t do too much on my first day. 

Crossfit was hard, I was sweaty and sore, but I liked it. 

I went to Ambitious Fitness with my girlfriend,  Kerry.  Ketry has been going to this CF gym for around 6 months  (maybe more, I’m terrible with dates) and looks amazing. You can see the difference crossfit has made to her body. Changing her eating habits and crossfit has done wonders for Kerry. She’s always been beautiful but now I think she knows and believes it. She’s a strong mama and the confidence she has now it amazibg. And Kerry was pretty damn confident  (or a great actress) when I met here. 

How cute are we?!?

I’ve been thinking about CF since that morning.  I liked the way you walk in and the workout is there for you. I don’t have to figure it out. I really like that it’s a group but yet individual workout.  I really like that there is a trainer or two around to check form. (I hurt my neck lifting on my own a few years ago and stopped lifting and going to the gym at that time)

I want to go back. But CF is expensive.  Like $50 more than a regular gym….each month. But I liked it. 

Thoughts like that have been swirling in my head for weeks now. 

I think I’ve come to a decision.  I like CF and I want to join the gym. 

I work my ass off to ensure my family has everything we need. I work a second job. I sell Buskins.  And I just started selling Life’s Abundance. (Let’s be honest here, I joined the two companies because I LOVE their products and selling them just helps offset my own  costs.) 

I am not afraid of hard work. 

So why am I hesitant about joining CF?

  • Should I spend the money? 
  • Am I being selfish if I join?
  • Will I have the time?
  • I could just workout at home….why don’t I? 
  • I could, I should, but I dont…..
  • Or other such nonsensical bullshit that runs thru my head. 

This week, I go back to school. I will start my 10th year teaching.  My daughter starts her senor year next week. I will be 39 in February.  

I am tired of being tired. I don’t want to be tired and out of shape forever and I’m not going to do it myself.  


I am willing to work one extra Applebee’s shift each month, to afford crossfit.  

Why does this freak me out?

I know I should do it. I know I want to do it. Why do I hesitate? 


3 thoughts on “New, scary things and the old self doubt”

  1. New endeavors are always scary especially when they have the potential to be life changing. If you’ve been thinking about it a lot since your one drop in… I think that’s a pretty positive answer.
    And YES you two are adorable 💋


  2. Love you. You work hard so you deserve it. You like CF, so you deserve it. Stop thinking and just do it. This is your life too. Make it the best you can.


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