{"id":26704,"date":"2016-05-12T12:42:16","date_gmt":"2016-05-12T16:42:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gozen.com\/?p=26704"},"modified":"2025-08-07T12:38:57","modified_gmt":"2025-08-07T16:38:57","slug":"how-i-went-from-quitty-to-gritty","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gozen.com\/how-i-went-from-quitty-to-gritty\/","title":{"rendered":"How I went from Quitty to Gritty"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Getting<\/p>\n

Growing up, I wanted to be just like my older brother. He was a whiz in school, a tennis prodigy, and had oodles of friends. As I saw it, my brother was great at everything. Although I loved him dearly, I grew tired of living in the shadow of his eminence. So at the ripe age of 7, I made a decision. I too was going to achieve greatness. The plan was simple: find one thing at which to beat my brother.<\/p>\n

My quest began on a Sunday afternoon. It was family day in the Jain household, and we decided to go miniature golfing. I\u2019d never played before, but when I saw that the equipment consisted of little silver sticks and white dimpled balls I knew it couldn\u2019t be that difficult.<\/p>\n

I grabbed my gear and ran out to the first hole. With sweaty palms and a pulsing heart, I wound up and smashed the ball! I watched as it forcefully rolled down the green, past the hole, over the plastic enclosure, and into the parking lot. The ball was lost, and I followed suit. I took my little silver stick and chucked it clear across the course, all the while screaming, \u201cI QUITTTTTTTTTTT!\u201d<\/p>\n

Thus began my history of quitting. From piano to soccer to art class\u2026 I tried new things and at the slightest hint of adversity, I quit. The desire to outshine my brother and hurl objects in the face of defeat dissipated, yet my treacherous habit of quitting remained steady.<\/p>\n

What was wrong with me? Was I just a brat? Not really, I was actually quite a loving and affectionate child. I simply wanted to find something where I could excel, something to call my own. The problem was that I lacked a vital skill. In pursuit of my goals, I lacked the mental fortitude to withstand challenges. I lacked grit.<\/p>\n

A really brief history of Grit<\/strong><\/p>\n

Twenty-odd years after the mini-golf debacle, I met renowned researcher and psychologist Angela Duckworth. I was immediately captivated by her work. You see, Duckworth was interested in why some succeeded while others did not. She was interested in the ingredients necessary for achievement. From my point of view, Duckworth was uncovering the difference between my brother and me growing up.<\/p>\n

Early in her career, Duckworth taught math to middle and high school students. During that time, she made an obvious, yet profound observation: students who tried hard did better than students who didn\u2019t try as hard. What role did \u201ctrying hard\u201d or effort play in one\u2019s success? This wonder led to her groundbreaking work.<\/p>\n

After much research, Duckworth theorized that people who achieve great success \u2013 those at the top of their fields \u2013 have the qualities of dogged perseverance and sustained passion toward long term goals. She coined a term for this quality: grit<\/strong><\/em>. Duckworth believed grit could predict success above and beyond traditional metrics of intelligence such as IQ.<\/p>\n

To test her theory, she developed a simple assessment called the Grit Scale. The scale requires people to rate themselves on statements such as, \u201cI finish whatever I begin,\u201d or \u201cI have overcome setbacks to conquer an important challenge.\u201d She took scale into the field, and what followed was remarkable.<\/p>\n

In one study, low scores on the grit scale was a better predictor of which freshmen cadets at West Point would drop out by their first summer than an internally developed composite score made up of academic grades, physical fitness, and a leadership scores. In another study of the Scripps National Spelling Bee, grit predicted who would move on to the finals above and beyond IQ. In yet another study, grittier students at an elite university achieved higher grade point averages than their less gritty classmates despite having lower SAT scores. Dozens of similar studies made it clear: grit matters.<\/p>\n

The revelations from this research are nothing short of astonishing. No longer are you stuck with intellect or raw talent as your core means for success. Perseverance and passion matter at least as much, if not more than other cognitive qualities. As I see it, grit is a tool that levels the playing field \u2013 a tool for the underdog. A tool I wish I had as a child.<\/p>\n

How I found my Grit<\/strong><\/p>\n

While I didn\u2019t have access to grit research growing up, I did have the good fortune of working with a teacher who taught me some of the same core principles.<\/p>\n

By age 12, I\u2019d left behind hundreds of activities, clubs, and hobbies in my dusty trail of abandonment. The one thing I hadn\u2019t given up on was starting anew! My latest undertaking was a reading club. As I sat through the first meeting, I realized everyone was older than me, exploring books well above my reading level. I decided I\u2019d stick with it for at least a week.<\/p>\n

I came back the second week with my copy of The Count of Monte Cristo<\/em> marked up with multiple passages I didn\u2019t understand. After the meeting, I approached the group leader, Mrs. Johnson, ready to launch into my standard I-need-to-quit speech.<\/p>\n

Before I could speak, Mrs. Johnson said, \u201cI know you\u2019re little younger than everyone here, but you can do this. Stick with it for a few weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I just don\u2019t think\u2026 I just didn\u2019t really get\u2026 I\u2019m busy at school, see\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRenee,\u201d she interrupted, \u201cWhat exactly are you afraid of?\u201d I decided not to answer. But Mrs. Johnson was good, she used a Jedi mind-trick that teachers like to use \u2013 silence.<\/p>\n

Two minutes later, I squeaked, \u201cFailing. I guess.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what exactly does that mean\u2026 failing?\u201d<\/p>\n

I stammered for a while and finally said, \u201cIt means not being able to keep up and getting really frustrated because it\u2019s too hard and then wanting to quit.\u201d And then I told her my big secret, \u201cMrs. Johnson, I\u2019m just not that good at anything. I fail\u2026 a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n

That was when Mrs. Johnson said something I will never forget, \u201cRenee, listen to me very closely. I\u2019m going to tell you something my father taught me growing up. The only way we can ever fail in life \u2013 the only way \u2013 is by not trying. Everything else can be overcome with a little hard work and some good old-fashioned sweat.\u201d<\/p>\n

I worked with Mrs. Johnson each week after reading club. She never minimized my frustrations; instead, she showed me practical techniques to take breaks and then persevere. She helped me plow through what is now one of my all-time favorite books and ignited my life-long passion for reading. But beyond this, Mrs. Johnson tapped into a strength that resides within all of us. Mrs. Johnson helped me find my grit. In this, she changed the trajectory of my life.<\/p>\n

Passing on Grit<\/strong><\/p>\n

If I had one outrageous wish, it would be for all children to have a Mrs. Johnson by their sides. Since I haven\u2019t figured out how to clone her (yet!), I try to pass these skills on myself. One of the skills that kids love to learn about is grit. Below are a few methods I use to help kids embrace the core principles of grit:<\/p>\n