{"id":2216947,"date":"2023-01-26T13:25:52","date_gmt":"2023-01-26T18:25:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gozen.com\/?p=2216947"},"modified":"2023-01-26T13:25:58","modified_gmt":"2023-01-26T18:25:58","slug":"5-phrases-your-kids-can-use-to-disagree-respectfully","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gozen.com\/5-phrases-your-kids-can-use-to-disagree-respectfully\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Phrases Your Kids Can Use to Disagree\u2026 Respectfully"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u201cI can\u2019t believe you like soccer! That\u2019s so boring and dumb!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo way we\u2019re doing it that way. That\u2019s the worst idea!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not true at all! I\u2019m a way better drawer than her!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes it feels like our kids can fight about anything. Whether it\u2019s with friends, siblings, or parents, the slightest differences of opinion are grounds for put-downs, heated arguments, and outrage. All of which, of course, leads to hurt feelings, loss of confidence, and an inability to communicate effectively or resolve conflict. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, it\u2019s kind of hard to blame them, isn\u2019t it? Many of us adults haven\u2019t set the best examples over the last few years. It seems like respectful disagreements and productive arguments are a lost art for humans of all ages.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But it doesn\u2019t have to be! We can teach our kids (and re-teach ourselves) how to disagree with one another, but do so in a way that\u2019s healthy, kind, and respectful. These kinds of communication skills are essential for building resilient relationships. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are 5 simple phrases we can start with, along with explanations of why they\u2019re effective. The \u201cwhy\u201d may not be important for kids to understand, but once they hear you model the approach and use the phrases yourself, they\u2019ll catch on soon enough. <\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Respectful<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

1. That\u2019s really interesting. Here\u2019s another way to look at it\u2026<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

By showing appreciation for the opposing view, your child lessens the chances that their own perspective will be heard with any aggression or ill-intent. Not only that, but by speaking those words, your child is adopting a positive perspective by choosing \u201cinterest\u201d in differing opinions rather than discomfort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Do you have a different opinion?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

When someone disagrees with you aggressively, this phrase is highly effective in taking the sting out of their reply. You\u2019re reminding the other person that their thoughts are opinions and not facts, and that everyone\u2019s may be a little different. In addition, it\u2019s a good reminder for your child that the other person’s thoughts aren\u2019t necessarily facts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. What I like about your ideas is (…). Here\u2019s where my ideas are different.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re establishing common ground. When you agree in certain areas, you have a good foundation on which to further the conversation. Plus, by complimenting the other person’s ideas or thoughts, you\u2019re sort of inviting them to reciprocate. Of course, we don\u2019t want our kids to need that kind of validation, but it\u2019s a happy side effect if it happens. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. You have strong opinions about that.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

This phrase can be the period at the end of a conversation. Perhaps you\u2019re both expressed your feelings and there\u2019s nothing left to say. Perhaps your child isn’t comfortable continuing the conversation. This is a completely neutral statement that requires no further comments. It can be a respectful end to the discussion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. I don\u2019t think I agree, because (…)<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

While respectful, there\u2019s no frills, no fluff, and it gets right to the point. Just take the time to explain your perspective in a logical way. By including the word \u201cthink,\u201d you\u2019re suggesting that it\u2019s possible you\u2019re wrong, and you\u2019re not walling off debate. In a respectful dialog, there should always be room for minds to be changed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Disagreements can be healthy and productive. Not all arguments are bad. By teaching our kids to respectfully exchange ideas, we\u2019re setting them up for greater resilience in their relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Looking for more help for your kids navigating anger and arguments? Check out the Anger Transformation Activity Kit<\/a>! It’s packed with constructive resources to help kids get along better with siblings, be mindful of their tone of voice, and foster conflict resolution skills! The best part is, if you’re a Professional<\/a> or Family<\/a> member, you already have this resource! Just check under activity kits on your dashboard!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cI can\u2019t believe you like soccer! That\u2019s so boring and dumb!\u201d \u201cNo way we\u2019re doing it that way. That\u2019s the worst idea!\u201d \u201cThat\u2019s not true at all! I\u2019m a way better drawer than her!\u201d Sometimes it feels like our kids can fight about anything. Whether it\u2019s with friends, siblings, or parents, the slightest differences of … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2190,"featured_media":2217741,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[135],"tags":[701,758,435],"class_list":["post-2216947","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gozen-anxiety-relief","tag-anger","tag-communication","tag-conflict-resolution","no-featured-image-padding"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gozen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2216947","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gozen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gozen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gozen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2190"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gozen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2216947"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/gozen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2216947\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gozen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2217741"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gozen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2216947"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gozen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2216947"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gozen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2216947"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}